Your tits are I can't wait for
i don't plan on having that self control this summer
So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
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She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
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So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
Death by dick. An honorable death. Put a picture of his dick in the photo collage at my funeral.
You have cats and a ten year IUD. Embrace it.
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
Good news!! I can adult!! π turning down the strip club on a weeknight has become my crowning achievement ππ
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