I'm not upset with you; I'm upset with Fox News.
You came on your own forehead. Just wanted to remind you that.
my mom told me that she didn't count me in the census because im a waste of life anyway.
lesson learned: don't narrate out loud about how a girl is giving you head while she's doing it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
Finals drinking + forgeting you had to take your ambien because you work at 6am mid paper= drunk logic which then entails going on a "detox" run. Puking your guts put in the field house bushes while some random guy says to you "its okay. We're marching on."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
It's gotten to a point that when guys say "I'm gonna cum" I've developed a habit of responding "dooo itttt" in a deep voice. #isthatweird
Everyone thinks I'm sleeping but I'm actually just melting.
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize