I hid my booze in my old Sesame Street lunch box. Big Bird might be disappointed, but I feel Oscar the Grouch would approve.
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
You are driving me to get new toys, i am test driving them on the way home.
We are taking your truck.
I believe in your delicious
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
Did we kick in my basement door last night?
Yes. I think you actually bought tennis shoes specifically for that application.
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
My orgasm happened in two different decades
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
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