never play flip cup with pint glasses
I can't wait until next week, when I find out what drunk me added to the Netflix queue.
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
Wise words from the guy who drunkenly chipped his teeth on the sidewalk
Crosswalk actually
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
he drank all my beer while i was at work and passed out on my couch, when i got home he was out cold and my room mates pig was licking him. they seemed peaceful, so i took 20 bucks from his wallet and left again.
I'm not really sure if I peed the bed last night or if the cat was trying to get back at me for using her litter box last weekend
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
Concept: I never actually flirt with anyone, I'm just a bitch and some people find it endearing
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
I wish I could say this wasn't the first time I shit myself in a Piggly Wiggly.
Randomize