Where is the hickey?
I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
She looked like her face caught fire, and someone put it out with a screwdriver.
i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I started dry heaving in the middle of sex and she says "You moan funny."
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
As a gentleman, I asked her if she was sure and she just whispered "wreck me" in my ear. I took that as a green light.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday
The fact that I am laying in bed on my stomach with an ice pack on my rump is a clear indication that I am no longer in my carefree 20s
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
I promised her I would shit on your driveway. There's nothing that you or I can do about it now.
There's a difference tho. *I* drink at seven in the morning because I work graveyards. YOU drink at seven in the morning cause you're an alcoholic.
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