bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
The smiley face on that pregnancy test is so damn taunting. It's like it's laughing at me for my poor choices.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Watermelon juice. Makes everything better. Gin. Wine. EVERYTHING.
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
I do feel like I owe you an apology for trying to fuck your dad last night but in my defense everyone knows I shouldn't drink tequila.
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
bitch, i have a flask. i've got things under control.
god. marry me.
My mom heard me having sex with my boyfriend but thought it was the neighbors. She commented on how quick it was. I just nodded and changed the subject
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