it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.
Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
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he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
I told him to keep his feelings in his pants because they're annoying and to just fuck me.
The cop used the word "belligerent" 16 times in the report. You get to bail him this time. I'm not up for it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So apparently after I spilled candle wax down the front of my pants, I went to the store, bought condoms, and passed them out to everyone at the bar.
I thought they were lying to me about the condoms, until I found the receipt in my pocket.
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
Maybe I'm not hungover. Maybe I'm actually dying.
If its not for food we ain't going out.
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
No, I barely made it home last nite. Kept telling cab driver I live across the street from Susan Sarandon?? Thank god her coop addy is posted online.
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