i just woke up in the woods behind my house in handcuffs and a dan marino jersey ive never seen before
why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh my god, I am the best RA ever. I'm teaching my freshman girls how to deep throat on bananas as a group bonding activity. I'm making the religious ones eat them for potassium.
You were screaming across the bar "BUYING US SHOTS ISN'T GOING TO MAKE US STRAIGHT, YA KNOW!!!!!!!!"
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together!
It's like bringing a chick home from the bar the night before and waking up to thinking you are about to go another round... Just to wake up and find she's already left...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It might've been him telling me last night that he "doesn't even need beer goggles to fuck me." When I thought that was sweet, I realized something needed to change.
Literally too hungover to pull out of the driveway. Tried 3 times and failed. I'm going back to bed.
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
I do feel like I owe you an apology for trying to fuck your dad last night but in my defense everyone knows I shouldn't drink tequila.
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
u better not lose ur virginity to a sugar daddy who doesn’t post a pic of himself to tinder
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