i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
Remind me to never go to the bar with your Asian friends again. I need to be able to read or pronounce what I'm drinking.
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
PLEASE DON'T BE HEARTLESS COME AND GET ME FROM THE BAR I'M HIGH AS SHIT AND I LOST MY SHOES
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
I sat on my couch last night watching What Women Want, eating ice cream, and sobbing "why doesn't she like me?" Why was I born a man?
No piss test, hell yeah
FALSE ALARM. PISS TEST. I NEED YOUR PISS.
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just peed off a cliff while playing white snake on my phone. Close enough?
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
I just watched two birds fight or fuck. It was crazy. Another bird was watching closer and I know that bird understood what was happening better than me.
Social anxiety problems: I just had to get up and change stalls mid-poop because someone sat down in the one next to mine.
No, this year you're all getting coupons for things like "no yelling because you had sex in my apartment" or "the last beer."
Randomize