They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
It's noon and i am somehow drinking by myself in a jazz tent in broad daylight.
she reminds me of the first time i discovered masturbation. that's how you know it's true love.
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
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I gave up on alcohol forever for like 2 hours, that's got to be a new record
Alright, text me when you get close. I've got a mustache and I'm ready to get my day drunk on.
The $10 cab ride turned into a $60 cab ride when you puked down the back of his seat trying to whisper in his ear. He was a trooper though, he came into to wash off in the sink and still tried to get your number.
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
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My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
This is the fourth day in a row I woke up with cheetos spread around me in a ritual pattern..this weed is unreal
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
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