Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
things that need to be invented #43: vodka that also acts as birth control.
She told me she couldnt give me head last night because she was running out of listerine
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
He kept telling me how extraordinarily clean my ears were.
Mom just texted me to see if it was you who was streaking at the Mariner game... Did you accept yet another $1 bet?
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
Can one of you do me a favor? Light a match and throw it into my room. Bc I'm certain I would rather be burned to death than live in this hell I call my life
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wingman of the year award. I made out with her gay roommate in order for you to get laid. Better have been good.
The gay roommate was probably better than her. Consider yourself lucky.
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
I haven’t taken my socks off in over 36 hours. I should add that to my bumble profile.
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
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