i just remebered what i did last night, i asked a homeless man on a bike "hey whatcha doin with that bike, wanna make 5 bucks?" he agreed and then rode me on his handle bars a block away to the next bar.
yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
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I remember sitting there at the toilet, bleeding everywhere and thinking, "I walked from my bedroom to here. What happened?"
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
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In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
You were holding onto her boobs like you were adrift at sea and they were the only flotation devices
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
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