Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
Stuck behind a lady in her 70's purchasing a plastic handle of vodka and nothing else. She is writing a check. Hello future.
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea
So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
Mental note: adding peach schnapps to a gin and tonic does not "water it down."
Hahahaaa There's this one girl crying hysterically and wrapped around (i believe) her ex's leg. He's trying to shake her off without spilling his beer. This is fucking priceless.
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How long have I been using my debit card as a coaster?
Your drunk naked friend is roaming the living room. Started roaming my room. Please come retrieve him
Sorry, that was mean and I didn't mean it. I'm just mad at condoms
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
FYI bail money is still in my drawer. I know you have no car but you need to know this for tomorrow.
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
Randomize