i fucked some guy last night. i called him nick jonas by mistake. i'm 24.
what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
Got bored today and made list of places in apt I want to have sex. One includes opening and coming out the window.
If I die, please delete the word file entitled "Rainy Day"
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I may have just serenaded the sadface couple sitting on a bench outside the dorm by singing Bye Bye Bye.
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
You want to complain about your sex life to me? Right now mine consists of trying to masturbate lightly enough not to wake her up with bed shakes. Go. Fuck. Yourself.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
I shit you not. I was sitting on Brian's balcony...still drunk from the night before, and a hummingbird flew onto the patio, stared me right in the face and flew away. I feel like it was God's way of telling me, "Stop drinking."
gonna guess the empty vodka bottle and open can of tuna in the bathroom drawer are related?
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
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