I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh shit. Easter I forgot. Maybe we should leave the illegal stuff for when Jesus is less present.
He's the equivalent of a body pillow and a dildo. But still funny. We have good pillow talk.
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
I'm semi drunk. I just bought you penis moisturizer. Not kidding. Keep an eye out for the package. Merry Christmas.
Apparently coming home smelling like I took a bath in beer is frowned upon in this household. I'm so glad I don't actually live here.
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
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