the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
you tried to tell me that ice cream had no calories because they were "frozen"
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf
What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
Helped an old lady on crutches throw away her mcdonalds, carried her stuff to the car and helped her get in...most productive cinco de mayo hands down
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
I want to let you in on my two latest life goals. Have a photograph of me squirting whipped cream into a midget's mouth, and have sex on a roof.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am significantly less than sober now. Gonna make like, ten hotdogs.
I never thought people would keep their guns next to their fake plastic penises, but there they were.
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
You left me a really long voicemail saying, "Hey, it's meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee." and then the rest is just loud laughter
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
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