I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
My sole motivation for showering this morning was to masturbate. Something is wrong here...
All I want for christmas is my sobriety back.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
Her tits were the only thing that upgraded her from "no way in fuck" to "drunken mistake"
rethinking that breast reduction surgery... i'm tired of drunkenly explaining the scars to guys who don't really give a shit
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
Obama's speech on in 9 mins. Me in the shower now. Naked. Make your choice.
I'm bringing the tv in with me.
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
I had the good sense not to tell her that my summer goal is to get fucked by a med student while wearing a party dress and sparkly shoes
I asked him if we were exclusive and he followed up with, "If a tree falls in the woods and no ones around, does it still make a sound?" Wtf am I supposed to do with that?!
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