I puked the same amount of times as the number of bars i went to last night
what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
dibs on John Mayer's hood pass
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Last night after we fucked, I washed my vag in vodka so I wouldn't get an STD
Or, you could have used a condom
I got drunk and smashed his tv with the keg and so he blames me for being evicted.
my voice of reason is faarrr too drunk for me to listen.
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
Just picture a dyson vacuum with razor blades. That's how it felt.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
I know we were going to go hiking today, but I don’t think I can face reality until Wednesday
I found dried jizz from last night on my leg while feeding an infant a bottle. I am not fit to care for children
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
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