Me too!
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
Some guy Just sang about my ass on the street
It was terrible lyrics but I would have thrown my life savings into that guitar case if I had any.
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
if you're the one who put those dollar bills in my bra last night, thank you because I just used that money to get myself a coffee
They don't have a Valentines Day card for the married guy I'm sleeping with. It can't use the words, love, soulmate, you're the only one for me...and obviously it can't be anything related to spending the day together because that's not happening.
chasing tequila with frosting. best baby shower ever.
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
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