I fucked a guy named chris tucker last night
Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
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We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
That works. I won't care. I'll be a mermaid. Mermaids don't give a fuck.
Especially drunk mermaids.
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
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I'm suffering a hangover from deep within. I feel like the half of the parts of my body are permanently laced with alcoholic substances
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
The guy I made out with the other night fed me chipotle favored funions and I thought it was true love when I was drunk.
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
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