sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
my phone calendar just alerted me that it's "weed time" in 15 minutes. do not remember setting that alert last night...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
WAIT DID YOU MAIL ME A KITTEN
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
in other news i got caramel vodka poured on me. upside, i smell amazing
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
Pinterest knows I’m getting divorced
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
Shelly has the weirdest luck. Dude offered her a job riding a bucking bronco and it was not porn or stripping but an actual g-d cow.
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