so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
If Billy Mays did an infomercial on your dick, it still wouldn't get you laid.
I'm not even planning on drinking that much tonight.. but I'm writing "emergency contact number" and your number on my hand just in case
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
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He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Its a little weird going to a wedding where I've screwed the bride and my wife has screwed the groom. Great wedding though.
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
Just got hit on by a 50 year old Englishman who is now swapping drunken racing stories with my mom. Live Mariachi band in the background. How's that for a wake?
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
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