Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
I swear to God, I saw my life flash between my legs.
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
Some guy seriously just got Jimmy Johns delivered to him at the graduation ceremony. This cannot be real life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
I have enough bourbon in me to put Justin's cat in the dishwasher.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently I told him he would be good for human sacrifice.
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
I mean I'm completely serious and also drunk.
What a great combination.
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