Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
I definitely managed to work the word "aforementioned" into the conversation.. At least I'm an intelligent sexter.
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When I sent you a text telling you to splash water on your face, you texted me back with 'Iwehre N qyull.'
It's four o'clock and my 60yo aunt's tits have already made an appearance and there is a dildo traveling around the room periodically assaulting family members. Strangely I am thankful.
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
Sorry I just took 4 pills about 20 minutes ago so I'm feeling like a claw machine like people tell me were I need to go and what to do and I'm just like yes sir so I get the teddy bear but I set it on fire and it's kinda black on one side and there might be smoke coming off it.
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I accidentally flashed three cops last night. Stone cold sober.
There's no discreet way to sneak a cucumber into the shower lol
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
I stole us four large rolls of toilet paper from the hotel carts. I feel like the breadwinner in this relationship
Making friends with the guy who had alcohol-infused whipped cream was the best decision I made all night.
Been smoking since 4. The inevitable finally happened: I bought a cheesecake.
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