Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
I am far too drunk to be making a tuna melt . There's blood EVERYWHERE.
I told her you were a premature ejaculator. She nodded and said "Really? Wow, how long's he been a Pilot for?"
you are both the best and worst wingman ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
I am significantly less than sober now. Gonna make like, ten hotdogs.
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
I woke up naked in her room. More precisely, I woke up naked in her room with her and her sister laughing at my penis. I hate my life.
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
WHY THE FUCK DOES RICKY'S BROTHER GET AN ENTIRE POT OF PASTA FOR BEING SHIRTLESS AND ALL I GET IS ARRESTED?!
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