dear santa what can i do with your candy cane?
Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my 3 favorite things in life are tequila, dicks, and making sandwiches. that DOES NOT make me a bad person.
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
i'm exhausted. do you know how hard it is to put together an outfit that is professional enough to secure a babysitting job yet slutty enough to let him know i'm down for sex during naptime?
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
You're like the fucking Mozart of sexting.
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
Get here now. I need a drinking buddy. I don't care if you're in a different timezone, it'll be five o clock here faster.
I'm going to get drunk, come back, call my grandma, and eat all those scrambled eggs.
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
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