"I want to just tie you up so you\'ll still be here like this when I get home." Actual words.
I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
Pooping in your heated bathroom to the sound of rain and instrumental guitar might be the greatest experience ever.
she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
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There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
I'm lonelier than Tom Hanks in Cast Away, right meow. Ready to make this bong my Wilson.
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
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dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
The squirrels were at the front door. Dude I swear..
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
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