why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
Yeah, half my ass was burnt and I was missing a shoe. I'm blaming you for the shoe.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Change of plans I'm coming home and shotgunning all the beer we have.
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
this mall makes me feel like I just rolled a 9 in jumanji and got the stampede card
Hey it happens. Think of it this way- you didn't wake up in jail, your face wasn't inexplicably busted and you still have all your teeth. In this group of friends, you're on top!
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You lifted he top layer off his birthday cake and made it say 'eat me' in the cookie monster voice so yeah he knew.
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
i told her i loved her afterwards and she said "i know," kissed me, and got up to start making breakfast.
dude, she han solo'd you. keep her.
Well, I can mark "throwing up in a daycare bathroom due to a hangover" off my bucket list.
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP YOUR SECRETS IF YOU KEEP ON TELLING ME THEM.
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
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