i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
Accidentally peeing a little on the couch in the middle of a sneeze is way different from railing a random on our waffle counter. I am the better roommate.
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
Just once, I'd like to hook up with a girl that doesn't look like she's having a near-fatal seizure when I give her an orgasm.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Whoever put the rooster in the elevator is my fucking hero. Who even thinks of that shit?
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
there is glitter all over my balls
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