Do you think it'll be awkward standing up at their wedding knowing I've slept with both the bride and the groom?
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
mallory made a planned parenthood decision maker flow chart again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
Here's a tip. Don't party with someone that needs sexual attention. Drinking and sexual attention don't mesh well in the morning. Especially over a bowl of Cheerios.
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
Whenever you're sad about your life, just remember that I'm on a first name basis with the late night taco bell drive-thru workers.
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing says "forever alone" like receiving a friendship bracelet from your parents.
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
I'm at her wedding and she managed to get every single one night stand I ever had in her wedding party. Why does she hate me?
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
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