K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
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Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
Like if there was an award for best way to take a girls virginity, he would get a standing ovation. And first prize. Probably a bunch of roses too. That good.
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
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ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
I just want somebody who'll randomly bring me pizza and lovingly squeeze my butt. Is there a dating app for that, do you think?
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
ok first of all what the fuck
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
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