Sex has been so nonexistent lately that when I was masturbating the other day, I actually paused to yawn.
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
I'm at work, and just realized I the beer smell I keep getting random whiffs of is my bra. I fail at life.
Officially drug you out of White Castle last night by the hood on your sweatshirt after you cussed out the attendant and stole the satisfaction guaranteed sign because they were closed!
And then we felt it necessary to continue drinking for another 4 hours, yikes
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
My condom drawer is now filled with W-2s and tax return documents. Is this adulting?
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
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