Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
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If the EMT's ask later... I had 5 hour energy for breakfast and Four Loko for dinner... It might be important for them to know that
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
He gave me a card that said "I'm so glad we found each other... In the pants" and a pat on the head... My walk of Shame wasn't so bad.
And on that day, Satan said; "Let there be the friend zone and let us get fucking high." while Jesus silently cried in the background.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
You don't know scared until you've just begun the first stage of an acid trip till a guy on stilts with a creepy mustache and beard says "enter the Forrest"
When that bartender tried to tell us he sang like Sade, I knew it was time to go
I smell like heartbreak.
Tequila and sloppy rebound sex?
How did you know?
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