next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She punched my vomit. In midair. Back into my mouth.
Where the royal fuck are you??
The depths of vodka hell.
I am one Jewel song away from suicide watch
I had a dream where I was about to fight you but you were dressed like a greek god and had just killed a werewolf with your bare hands
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
Telling someone to make good decisions on a Thursday is like telling Santa to be Jewish.
They never prepare you for how broke ur gonna be in college. I just accepted money from two underage girls at a gas station to buy them beer only because I'm trying to figure out a way to run off with it without them noticing.
Dude, use it to buy them beer. Then run the beer to ur car as fast as you can and bring it to the party. Seriously, we're running out of booze over here
My drug dealer just asked me to go see Les Mis on Christmas. Should I be worried this is some type of musical set-up?
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
Randomize