it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
Just got a blowjob to the theme of Bohemian Rhapsody as the sun was rising. I should just kill myself because ill never top this moment.
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
I'm sorry that spending new years with you was fucking my boyfriend in your bathroom multiple times
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
I feel bad for the cleaning lady. All you can smell is latex and Jaegermeister
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
I thought it was my alarm clock, turns out it was her vibrator still going off on the side of my face.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
My parents woke me up at noon to tell me my maid had found my clothes strewn all over the neighborhood
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
all I remember is screming at her "I want you and your tortillas... DEAD"
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
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