fml, blew my nose and red sprinkles came out and did the splits when i sneezed
I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
i actually looked down at my cock today and said "whoa buddy, you need a haircut....(grimace) and a shower"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
call me tomorrow and ask me about coke-whore stripper. It hasnt happened yet, but im sure it will be plenty disappointing.
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He asked me when I was coming to bed while simultaneously drilling a fart into the mattress. Don't fucking get married.
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
Want to go to Victoria’s Secret? His fiancée is out of town and I’m going to try and stop the wedding with lingerie and lots adventurous sex
Absolutely! I love a good sexual filibuster!
Randomize