just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did you really lure me out of the bar with a blond holding a dunkin donuts bag? Well played sir, well played.
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
I woke up on the dog bed, bottle of alcohol still in hand and my thong was hanging off the family portrait.... Yikes
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
I just discovered my new vice. Cotton candy vodka. Its like a carnival in my mouth, puking of the tilt-a-whirl included.
It doesn't matter if it's only been 3 days since you last changed your sheets. If your fuck buddy comments on how your bed smells like sex, it's time to change them again.
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