I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
I told my mom happy mother's day then rubbed my belly and said "Oh, and happy grandmother's day too..." She started sobbing. You were right, that wasn't the best way to tell her.
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
My liver is crying. And I feel like I got fingered by Edward Scissorhands. While he was wearing brass knuckles
I'm doing the Macarena naked in my living room right now
I see you're taking unemployment seriously.
Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
Randomize