Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she can't stop having the shits.
is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
So he just rolled over in his sleep and said "that's a punctuation mark..."
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you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
We really need to stop competing to see who can get more drunk, and I REALLY need to stop winning.
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
I moved out... There's nothing left but his childhood trophies...
You should make him a new one, you know like "you suck at relationships but thanks for trying participation award"
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And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
I caught myself caressing my own hand while nurturing a glass of bourbon. I think it's time to get back out there.
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
I'm always down for nudity.
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