peeing in bathroom at penn station and the homeless man next to me is combing his beard with a fork...god I love new york
in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
Everyone knows that the fastest route to a corporate advancement is to take a shot in the mouth
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
Just made a drunk dude do 20 push-ups. In the parking lot of the bar tonight for a keystone light I found in the back of my truck.
Oh yum
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
i ate pretzels. i might be the first human to be hospitalized from pretzels. that's how bad this is.
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
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