we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just bought two budlight beers with a can of tuna at the bar
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
Thanks for not waking me up before the firefighters chopped down my door
Your philanthropic work just got me laid, thanks dad for naming me #2.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
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