Life lesson: using the oven as a heater= $500 electric bill
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
I feel like vodka or no vodka, you'd still be trying to button your cat into your comforter
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
OMG OMG OMG DID YOU KNOW THERE ARE MINI CHOCOLATE COWBOY HATS THAT MEN CAN BUY FOR THEIR PENISES?
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
She pulled up to the bar in a limo, wasted, and alone. Gets out, shrugs and slurs "I couldn't find a cab" and proceeds to take a shot.
I'm in love.
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
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