I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
Hindsight: maybe I should have included a few transitional texts in between talking about your son and my need to have sex. Do over?
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Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
ummm im also counting the $14 dollars I gave the old guy to pay for the cab I called for him to take to the hospital last night as part of ur present.
I'm so stoned I just sat here for like at least 45 min thinking about how I would get some jack in the box tacos if only I knew where my wallet was and then I kind of blinked and finally noticed I had literally been staring at my wallet the ENTIRE fucking time
He was lasting forever and I couldn't take it so I faked an asthma attack
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I accused the cab driver of smoking weed in the taxi then I remember it was me.
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
i'm bringing homemade birthday cake and homegrown weed. how awesome is this text?
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
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