Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
i used baking grease as lip gloss
All I wanna do is sit in water and get drunk. The only thing more American is giving birth to eagles.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
new years resolution, not be in jail at midnight for 3rd year in a row.
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
Oh my god I forgot there were Band-Aids on my nipples
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So you drank bourbon with cough syrup?
I still had a cough. It only makes sense
I just had a very enlightening conversation with my hat. we need more of whatever the fuck that was.
I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.
Hi,\n\nYou left your underwear in my Uber. Thanks and bye.
You are a genius and a whore.
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
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