Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
apparently the 911 operator took drunk dialing waaayy too seriously
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
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normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
I vaguely remember taking a shit behind the shed before I started puking over the fence. No more Xanax.
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
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Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
You handed me your heels and said, "barefoot running is all the rage." Then you proceeded to run home.
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