There was a fist fight in my basement last night at four in the morning, in case you were wondering
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
the fact that he forgave me for making out with the bartender is proof that i can fuck my way out of anything.
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Tell me why I woke up outside of our hotel room Wearing a cowboy hat and boots in Las Vegas.
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
Thank you for dog sitting, there is $60 on my desk to be spent on DRUGS AND/OR GAS ONLY not that food stuff people crave.
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
You stocked up?
No actually didn’t get a chance. If you wouldn’t mind bringing me a brownie and a bottle of Jameson that’d be nice
Randomize