Alex texted me. Bootycall boy #2. its like an alarm goes off once i'm single that the line is open again
i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on!
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
i decided this morning while eating my breakfast of red bull and cold pizza that i should take a vow of celibacy
Dude I'm riding a fucking tortoise this is awesome you should come with me more often
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In the 2nd smartest move of my day your ringtone for when you call is now the Space Jam theme.
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
Is it tacky to frame a negative pregnancy test?
There is a cooked ham in the washing machine.
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
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