When my girlfriend drinks sangria it's like winning the vagina lottery
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
They have chocolate covered tequila candy at work. This is not a drill. May be drunk by noon.
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
This drunk lesbian I just met keeps trying to shove sushi in my mouth. Help.
Why can't burritos get me drunk
Now that it's fall I have to prepare for the imminent arrival of ripped up sweatpants shoved into folded over sequined uggs
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
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