A homeless man in dtwn SF was blasting lil wayne and singing at the top of his lungs. I kinda wanted to give him my life savings
Margaritas ran out of lime juice. Substituted Jaeger. Jaegerita not good.
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I fell asleep with my vibrator still in me. I am the Queen of Sad Masturbation.
Thanks for alerting everyone in our apartment what your one night stand's name is. Could you scream a little louder?
Nothing like running into your favorite bartender in the middle of the afternoon while stone cold sober and being told your grabbed his penis the last time you were at his bar. My bad.
I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
Well, we all woke up in drag with no memory of why we were in drag. On the plus side, this shade of lipstick looks really good on me.
I haven’t taken my socks off in over 36 hours. I should add that to my bumble profile.
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
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