I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
I didn't scare your mother by showing up on the roof, did I?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
i dont trust my judgment anymore so im only going to fuck guys who can donate blood at the red cross. they have standards.
And tell the hostess not to worry, she's narcoleptic and fell asleep on the way to the bar, but she'll be fine in a few minutes.
Well THAT'S the last time I buy beer and baby wipes in the same Walmart run ... just wanted to shout I USE THEM TO REMOVE MY MAKEUP, YOU ASSHOLES
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
Also I just took the BEST ass selfie of my adult life.... it's gonna be a good day haha
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
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